Categories / Mildly Retarded

Objectionable Porn That Shouldn't Exist: 2

You may cringe at the portable cock juicer. You might laugh at Big Foot committing a war crime. You will possibly Door Dash a 7 layer burrito bowl after seeing the sandworm at 0:45 second mark. But one thing's universal: We're all glad self-serving hasn't become a TikTok challenge. Yet.

239,377 views 01/29/24 Mildly Retarded

The Special Olympics of Porn

You know you're in some sort of bat shit crazy porn renaissance when Japan comes in last on the list of things you shouldn't masturbate to. Between the Tijuana down syndrome family plan and whatever the fuck Insane Clown Posse is doing at 1:45, idk if I should cum or cry.

731,691 views 11/30/23 Mildly Retarded

The Most Unfuckable Woman on Planet Earth

Every so often I come across an individual that makes me ask: How much tarantula fucking middle aged misguided trailer park moonshine did they drink before this became a good idea? It's like someone took Rosie O'Donnell and made it harder to see her naked.

981,331 views 07/31/23 Mildly Retarded

Uncomfortable Moments in Porn

Emphasis on the 2nd clip. I laughed, I cried, I wondered if this was the backup plan for Cliff Hanger 2 if Stallone's medicine cabinet ran out of human growth hormone. And now you get to experience the same thing for the ultra low price of $0.00. Suck it Apple Vision Pro.

902,469 views 06/22/23 Mildly Retarded

Anal Ends Career Before it Begins

Honest. Natural. Doesn't run more filters on herself than an industrial fish tank. Cindy had all the tools to become the next big thing. But 20 seconds into some Sacramento turtlenecking & she's out the door quicker than me watching Fast X. Want to steal his look? -BUY A SHIRT-

1,422,938 views 07/10/23 Mildly Retarded

Shit Pornstars Say 6

Kristina Bella becomes self-aware. Leya Falcon gives back to her community. Audrey Hempburn is currently on the run from Twitter And Veronica Leal... well, let's just say Ze Machine knows how to keep the romance going. You'll see.

1,877,832 views 02/09/23 Shit Pornstars Say

Fast, Furious and Fucked Up

Nothing says reinventing a franchise quite like admitting to the world that you have a fetish even the truckers of America aren't paying for in Walmart parking lots. Now give this so many views, The Rock won't be able to turn down being in the sequel.

1,152,083 views 04/13/23 Mildly Retarded

Porn Scenes Worthy of an Oscar 6

The only time I've seen self-harming determination this powerful was in the /terraluna subreddit. And much like the ability to ejaculate to one of these anomalies, I think it's time to pack it up and admit defeat boys. disclaimer: This is not financial advice you retard.

1,039,502 views 06/30/22 Porn Scenes Worthy Of An Oscar

The Hardest Working Girl on Chaturbate

Dare venture beyond the realm of myfreecams and you're bound to open a door to the insane asylum known as The Hola18 Wormhole. The only way out is being left with the kind of irreparable confusion felt by someone making it to the end credits of a movie with the words "Tyler Perry" in the title.

1,360,528 views 01/20/22 Mildly Retarded

CAMTASTROPHES #3

Kinda want to emphasize those gravity bags reaching maximum velocity around the 5:00 minute mark. Jell-o has spent over 100 years trying to market physics like this and have failed miserably in comparison. Turns out all you need is a 1-bedroom apartment in Latvia and a c-section scar to make math fun again.

1,535,032 views 03/07/22 Camtastrophes

The Worst of OnlyFanz IV

At this point I'm just respecting the hustle of being able to sell sex without ever being penetrated in front of a camera. Truly a spectacle in it's own right that leaves you trapped between vigorous masturbation or making a donation to the Shia LaBeouf Community College for the Gifted. PART I PART II PART III

1,446,580 views 04/04/22 The Worst Of Onlyfanz

19-year-old On the Spectrum

I'm just gonna go ahead and consider this a PSA for folks that might actually come across a misfit like her on Tinder: Swipe left. Your insurance plan simply isn't robust enough to cover the other direction.

1,238,754 views 08/16/21 Mildly Retarded

"Death to America"

This is siham. And what once was thought to be a single piss-poor decision has blossomed into a pattern of serious mental dysfunction. Her gimmick is basically r/politics except she actually makes money while posting. #GAG

1,106,027 views 04/26/20 Mildly Retarded

Don't Care, Had Sex

There's just no going back after making a video like this. She'll be forever known as the degenerate that got famous for rawdogging a South Park character. She's essentially a walking, talking Twitter activist for borderless sexuality... and yet stays in semi-boner material territory. An enigma, if you will.

3,578,359 views 10/08/19 Mildly Retarded

Downs with the Sickness

Impressive method acting on his part to be honest. He's got that 'my mother, sister and John Deer push mower are all the same person, so I listen to The Black Eyed Peas on vinyl' look down to a science. Unrelated question: Does gonorrhea cancel itself out if you get it twice? Asking for a friend.

2,110,435 views 04/08/19 Mildly Retarded

Too Awkward For Porn

To call this girl a boring bang would be the understatement of the damn millennium. I'll put it this way: If you combined a gender studies course with the PGA, you'd still need a 3 hour Al Gore audio book and jumper cables to match pulses with this fucking corpse. You've been warned.

2,247,325 views 04/24/19 Mildly Retarded

Testing a Sex Robot

For a minute there I was starting to lose faith in degenerate white guy's ability to keep me entertained. Then I was introduced to a fetish with more questions than Sylvester Stallone's medicine cabinet.

2,086,488 views 07/14/18 Mildly Retarded

The Pump Master

Meet Scott Taylor. Today Scott is a well respected porn mogul, but that wasn't always the case. Flashback to the glory years of 1985 and witness the Billy Mays of penis pump salesmen.

1,689,584 views 03/13/18 Mildly Retarded

The Dumbest Cunt In Porn

How does one earn such a title? First, be Serenity Haze. Then sign up for porn. Then refuse to do porn stuff. Finally, accuse the producer of rape and get caught lying over and over.

4,975,926 views 06/18/16 Mildly Retarded

Flipper Boy

He may be mentally challenged and physically deformed to the point of handicap, but he's had a threesome and I haven't. A true inspiration to all and possibly the anti-hero our generation needs.

4,011,057 views 10/15/15 Mildly Retarded
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